I have a hard time with being good enough. I am a busy person by nature. I find things to keep me moving. It seems like the house is never clean enough. There is always a meal that needs to be prepared. There’s a blog post that needs to be written. A client that needs to be called, laundry to be done, emails to respond to, life is busy, busy, busy.
I was listening to a podcast the other day with Brené Brown and it made me stop in my tracks, mouth open, staring dumbstruck at my phone. What. Did. She. Just. Say! (The podcast by the way is OnBeing & it’s episode 11 in casey you’d like to listen.) I have bastardized the line I’m sure but she said something like this:
Everyone needs rest and play. If your self worth is made by what you can produce, then you’ll never prioritize rest and play. Being busy will always rule.
I do that. I prioritize the busy. I need to produce results in order to feel good about me. I realize anyone who knows me might know this about me but it’s never really hit me quite so clearly. I am constantly tired and worn down. I struggle with being able to rest because there’s so much to do and if I don’t get it all done then that reflects poorly on me. It’s total bull but I believe it.
I was so intrigued after listening to this podcast that I wanted to know more about Brené and her message. In the podcast she references a TedTalk so of course I Googled it immediately. The focus of the talk was different than the podcast but the focus on shame and vulnerability is there in both. My biggest take away from her talk and the podcast is that in order to lead a full life, all I need to believe is that I’m enough. The rest will work itself out.
I am going to practice being enough. When we start something new and we don’t know how to do it, we practice. You practice playing sports, acting, music, art, until you’re better at it. I’m going to practice slowing down, enjoying play, relaxing and sitting at rest instead of stressing about production.
I will be enough even if I don’t go to the gym. I will be enough even if my laundry is all over the house and the litter box smells. I will be enough if I don’t walk the dog but rather snuggle her on the couch. I will be enough even if I don’t have a 24 hour turn around in my email. I will be enough because I already am. And because I am enough, I will believe I am worth more. I will settle less. I will work less on earning more things because I don’t need things to show my value. I am enough.
And you are too. We are worthy of love and worthy of acceptance even if we don’t get straight A’s, are the top performer or have perfect houses. Production doesn’t equal value and your value isn’t higher if you’re exhausted and stressed all the time.
I’d love to hear how you practice being enough. Tell me what you think in the comments.
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