An Open Apology to the Folks Who Love Me

 

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This is a typical Monday morning quest for me… No big deal.

It’s not you. It’s me. But seriously. You’re wonderful and funny and engaging and I adore you. Additionally, I’m sorry I’ve been so distant.

Lately, life has been…. large, heavy, hairy, busy, big. I wouldn’t go so far as to say bad because some amazing things have happened lately. However, I’ve been staring at what feels like a monster lately and wondering how my life got so out of hand.

In the process of trying to wrangle a bit of the fairy tale I live in, I’ve neglected some of you. I get lost in some of the blessings (like living at the beach that feels a million miles away from everyone) and consumed by some of the struggles (like how I’ve been so busy at work I’ve missed 3 weeks at the gym which turns me into an anxious pile of frustration).

Obviously, I’m working on pulling myself up and figuring things out. I’m trying to keep a stiff upper lip and focus on getting through the days. But in the meantime, I’ve neglected my relationships with you. It wasn’t intentional. It’s not that you’re not important to me or that I don’t value your space in my life.

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Flickr user Luis Alejandro Bernal Romero

Rather, it’s that I can engage from a distance with substantial ease and that ease is one of the only things that feels easy these days. I can watch your kids on Facebook, see your snarky comments in Twitter, and feel like I’m sharing your Instagram meal.

And while you might not be getting much out of me right now, I’m over here completely in love with you… for 5-20 seconds at a time before I get distracted by the monster again. So thanks for that. I appreciate it.

Once again, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t called. There are no emails and Lord knows I’m horrible about Facebook Messenger (I just don’t understand why anyone uses it), but it’s not that I don’t love and adore you. I’m not depressed or hiding in the darkness. I’ve just been trying to figure out how to get a better handle on me.

Also, I do well with pestering so feel free to do that too and don’t take it personally if I don’t respond quickly. It’s tough to type and freak out over all the little things at the same time.

Photo credit: Cropped image from Flickr user epSos .de.
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